When I saw that there was a movie about 2 friends, named Spence and Hogan, who start a club aimed at bedding older women, and the film also featured Kaley Cuoco and Chyna....yes Chyna. I had no choice but to watch it, despite its awful IMDB reviews.
Anyhoo, it's not quite as bad as all that, if you accept that there seemed to be very little effort on the part of the script. Yes it's dumber than a box of rocks, but the leads give effort and there are B listers galore to fill out the roster who also give it all they have. Joe Mantegna and Joe Polito for example.
The story, as I said, is rather simple and hacky. Spence and Hogan have just graduated Business school and have been given jobs at a local law firm thanks to Spence's dads connections. At the graduation party however, Hogans eye for aged flesh (in this case, Faye Dunaway. Yes Faye Dunaway) leads to trouble and leaves the pair scrambling to find another job.
They hook up with another law firm run by Mantegna and Polito and hilarity sort of ensues when they end up at a party with some older broads and devise a scheme to help hook up horny young dudes with old bitches on the prowl.
I wont lie and say I didn't laugh, but after the initial 20-30 minutes it gets really tiresome watching the same old jokes. And the image of Chyna recreating the refrigerator scene from 9 1/2 Weeks will be forever burned into my mind. There is a standout in the movie though. Jeremy Rowley as Karl, another assistant at the law firm, who likes to fuck office equipment, and later Chyna, amused me greatly.
But yeah, there's a ton of joke recycling, as almost every character seems to have been given a flash cards worth of jokes and has to use them throughout the film.
There is almost no nudity to speak of. Extras get their boobs out a few times but everyone who has sex barely removes their clothes whilst doing so, a real pet peeve of mine.
Cuoco is woefully underutilized as the clingy/bitchy girlfriend of one of the leads. Mo Collins is in this and while she of course doesn't get naked, she does look good all slutted up, so that's something.
No real need to join this club. Immature stoners probably need only apply for membership and even they wont be bowled over.
Monday, March 4, 2013
The Fourth Kind: 75 Out Of 100 Stars
This is kind of a compromise rating as I think maybe it's a better movie than this, especially for the sort of lot who thought Paranormal Activity was the most frightening thing they've ever seen (faint praise, I know).
Bit of a condescending opening line there so let me qualify it. This is a pretty scary fucking movie. My problem was that aliens don't much frighten me and in a movie like this when you sort of feel what the conclusion is gonna be, maybe it loses a bit of the edge if the viewer doesn't believe or isn't affected.
That being said, this is movie that does the horror genre fucking proud. The lovely Milla plays a psychologist who has been interviewing people in Nome, Alaska and has stumbled upon some very dark things at play. Otherwordly things? The film leaves it up to you.
The trick the film uses, and I haven't looked it up to see if it's legit or not, but after the fact it doesn't really matter as it drew me in upon first viewing, is that from time to time they will use side by side footage of both the original video the film is based off and the actual film recreation. It's a very interesting technique that gives it a pretty spooky vibe.
Let's start at the beginning shall we?
Milla actually intros the film as herself and says that she's playing Dr. Abby Winters, a psychologist who's work in Nome led to a chain of rather horrific events and asks you, the viewer, to decide for yourself.
From there we're given a story that is much more about Abby herself than the trailers may have led you to believe. Her work has caused people to remember things they might have rather not remembered, leading to some very bad and frightening consequences.
Throughout the film we are shown actual footage of Abby being interviewed a few years after the movies time frame ends, and it's rather disturbing. The film definitely captures the aura of horror about as good as any movie in recent years.
So yeah, I won't spoil much more except to say that Will Patton as the towns sheriff is fucking aces and Milla does a good enough job although there are times when I felt she was a bit........not wooden, but just....not quite right? I don't know if she was the perfect candidate for a role like this but it's not like she's bad either.
Paranormal Activity piss you off? Turn out the lights and pop in The Fourth Kind, you'll find what you're looking for. And it will scare the shit out of you.
Bit of a condescending opening line there so let me qualify it. This is a pretty scary fucking movie. My problem was that aliens don't much frighten me and in a movie like this when you sort of feel what the conclusion is gonna be, maybe it loses a bit of the edge if the viewer doesn't believe or isn't affected.
That being said, this is movie that does the horror genre fucking proud. The lovely Milla plays a psychologist who has been interviewing people in Nome, Alaska and has stumbled upon some very dark things at play. Otherwordly things? The film leaves it up to you.
The trick the film uses, and I haven't looked it up to see if it's legit or not, but after the fact it doesn't really matter as it drew me in upon first viewing, is that from time to time they will use side by side footage of both the original video the film is based off and the actual film recreation. It's a very interesting technique that gives it a pretty spooky vibe.
Let's start at the beginning shall we?
Milla actually intros the film as herself and says that she's playing Dr. Abby Winters, a psychologist who's work in Nome led to a chain of rather horrific events and asks you, the viewer, to decide for yourself.
From there we're given a story that is much more about Abby herself than the trailers may have led you to believe. Her work has caused people to remember things they might have rather not remembered, leading to some very bad and frightening consequences.
Throughout the film we are shown actual footage of Abby being interviewed a few years after the movies time frame ends, and it's rather disturbing. The film definitely captures the aura of horror about as good as any movie in recent years.
So yeah, I won't spoil much more except to say that Will Patton as the towns sheriff is fucking aces and Milla does a good enough job although there are times when I felt she was a bit........not wooden, but just....not quite right? I don't know if she was the perfect candidate for a role like this but it's not like she's bad either.
Paranormal Activity piss you off? Turn out the lights and pop in The Fourth Kind, you'll find what you're looking for. And it will scare the shit out of you.
The Men Who Stare At Goats: 40 Out Of 100 Stars
I almost chickened out and gave this a perfectly average 50 rating. But ya know what? It's not a 50 star movie. It's below average, and no amount of me wanting it to be better than it is will fix that.
McGregor plays a reporter who finds about a top secret section of the military that deals with psychic powers, peace instead of war, and meditation and all that stuff. He travels to Iraq where he meets Clooney, who once served in that secret department and still may. From there they go on what the movie probably believes is an adventure, but the viewer will likely not be as agreeable.
It meanders. Nothing means much of anything. The point is anti climatic, the whole new age feel goodery is used to sport sight gags and one liners that while funny, don't add any sort of real depth to the movie.
In that same vein, every character is good enough and funny enough and off enough to be funny, but it never comes close to adding up to the sum of its parts. It's like they pitched 40 different scene ideas and just sort of crammed them into a film. It doesn't work as a film. In fact the film itself, and the narrative as a whole, detract from the individual scenes.
This is a real waste of a pretty fun idea and a damn good cast. Such a shame.
Staring at goats can be fun, but not for 90 minutes.
McGregor plays a reporter who finds about a top secret section of the military that deals with psychic powers, peace instead of war, and meditation and all that stuff. He travels to Iraq where he meets Clooney, who once served in that secret department and still may. From there they go on what the movie probably believes is an adventure, but the viewer will likely not be as agreeable.
It meanders. Nothing means much of anything. The point is anti climatic, the whole new age feel goodery is used to sport sight gags and one liners that while funny, don't add any sort of real depth to the movie.
In that same vein, every character is good enough and funny enough and off enough to be funny, but it never comes close to adding up to the sum of its parts. It's like they pitched 40 different scene ideas and just sort of crammed them into a film. It doesn't work as a film. In fact the film itself, and the narrative as a whole, detract from the individual scenes.
This is a real waste of a pretty fun idea and a damn good cast. Such a shame.
Staring at goats can be fun, but not for 90 minutes.
A Serious Man: 87 Out Of 100 Stars
Many people have called this the Coen Brothers most accessible film. And I think that's the wrong word. Most realistic maybe? Although it's still got their trademark cramming of the unbelievable in it, but I think really it's only accessible if you're willing to sit down and watch a movie so steeped in Judaism.
That's not meant as a bad thing because it's not like you'd imagine if I were to say to you "It's a movie about a Jewish dude and his faith and all the people who orbit him and their faith". I'm not sure I'd wanna watch that myself, based on the description. But you have to put your faith in the hands of the Coen Brothers. If you trust them, you'll have no problem with the film, because well, they're great at telling stories about things that may or may not be about those things. Man, I'm lost here.
That's not meant as a bad thing because it's not like you'd imagine if I were to say to you "It's a movie about a Jewish dude and his faith and all the people who orbit him and their faith". I'm not sure I'd wanna watch that myself, based on the description. But you have to put your faith in the hands of the Coen Brothers. If you trust them, you'll have no problem with the film, because well, they're great at telling stories about things that may or may not be about those things. Man, I'm lost here.
Up In The Air: 75 Out Of 100 Stars
Good? Yes. But to be honest it's just getting to be a tired genre. I mean, it's hard to develop tangible emotions over this stuff at this point.
Clooney is solid as usual, playing a man whose job it is to fly from town to town and fire people. When a young upstart comes into his company and convinces the big boss, played by Jason Bateman with a kind of frightening beard, to downsize and start doing the firings via teleconference, Clooney convinces him to have her go on the road with him so that she can see that this isn't the kind of job you can do over a computer.
It's all very good, but right from the get go when Clooneys character is established it's pretty clear the road the film is going to have him take. Guy without a home, distant with his family, lives city to city on a single suitcase. Do you think he'll have some sort of epiphany? Of course you do, cause that's what these movies are about.
So while point A to point Z are obvious, everything in between is well acted and written and fun. It's just that once you know point Z well maybe that takes a little out of the journey.
The only other thing that stands out is that the body double for his love interest has a sweet ass, on full display in a rather gratuitous, rather extended shot. But I aint complaining.
Up In The Air is a fun place to be, I suppose.
Clooney is solid as usual, playing a man whose job it is to fly from town to town and fire people. When a young upstart comes into his company and convinces the big boss, played by Jason Bateman with a kind of frightening beard, to downsize and start doing the firings via teleconference, Clooney convinces him to have her go on the road with him so that she can see that this isn't the kind of job you can do over a computer.
It's all very good, but right from the get go when Clooneys character is established it's pretty clear the road the film is going to have him take. Guy without a home, distant with his family, lives city to city on a single suitcase. Do you think he'll have some sort of epiphany? Of course you do, cause that's what these movies are about.
So while point A to point Z are obvious, everything in between is well acted and written and fun. It's just that once you know point Z well maybe that takes a little out of the journey.
The only other thing that stands out is that the body double for his love interest has a sweet ass, on full display in a rather gratuitous, rather extended shot. But I aint complaining.
Up In The Air is a fun place to be, I suppose.
Big Fan: 67 Out Of 100 Stars
This is a situation where I think I could rate this film anywhere from 10-20 points higher, but in good conscience I just can't. And it's not because the film lacks in anything, in fact I think it does what it wants to do almost perfectly. The problem for me was that it's just so hard to watch something filled with so much despair. I won't go so far as to say the movie was a chore to watch, but for certain watching someone so inept and just slovenly sad and pathetic as Oswalts titular character becomes rough after awhile.
It will almost surely not happen, but Oswalt deserves an Oscar nomination. This is as good a performance as I've seen in a film in a long, long time. I mean, it was uncomfortable watching him but I guess that's the point.
The film is visually dark and clearly fairly low budget but it plays fine and given most of the settings, those restraints add to the ambiance.
A lot of people don't seem to like to the last act of the film but I enjoyed it. What he does, in retrospect, is pretty much in line with what we ought to expect from him, even though the film would like us to think it's going to a very dark place. The man isn't as much crazy as he is sad.
So yeah, I wouldn't say I'm a Big Fan, but I think most people will enjoy this movie and to those who are heaping higher praise on it, I can't say I disagree.
It will almost surely not happen, but Oswalt deserves an Oscar nomination. This is as good a performance as I've seen in a film in a long, long time. I mean, it was uncomfortable watching him but I guess that's the point.
The film is visually dark and clearly fairly low budget but it plays fine and given most of the settings, those restraints add to the ambiance.
A lot of people don't seem to like to the last act of the film but I enjoyed it. What he does, in retrospect, is pretty much in line with what we ought to expect from him, even though the film would like us to think it's going to a very dark place. The man isn't as much crazy as he is sad.
So yeah, I wouldn't say I'm a Big Fan, but I think most people will enjoy this movie and to those who are heaping higher praise on it, I can't say I disagree.
The Man From Earth: 70 Out Of 100 Stars
Little Dialogue driven film based on a play of the same name that at the very least is fairly interesting most of the time.
The premise is simple, a teacher who has just resigned invites a few of his colleagues over to say goodbye and drops a bit of a bombshell which I shant spoil.
Now then, the whole film is set pretty much in a single room except for a few excursions to another room or to outside. The cast is only 7 deep, and as I said in the beginning, plays sort of like a play but transfers to the screen pretty well.
The whole cast is fairly strong except for what I thought was a pretty bad ending, not in concept so much as execution on both the actors and the scripts part, but the idea was good enough that it didn't bother me much.
Being a dialogue driven film is really fucking hard, it's so easy to lose the viewer in a movie like this because when the dialogue starts to stray and you start to lose interest, it isn't like there's an action scene, a joke or an alien explosion coming to get you back into the flow. This film has a couple of slow moments but the subject matter is so fascinating that I think most people will be willing to tough it out thru those stretches.
All in all we've got a solid little movie for the brain, whose shortcomings are more than made up for by it's originality and ability to interest the viewer.
You'll enjoy spending some time with The Man From Earth.
The premise is simple, a teacher who has just resigned invites a few of his colleagues over to say goodbye and drops a bit of a bombshell which I shant spoil.
Now then, the whole film is set pretty much in a single room except for a few excursions to another room or to outside. The cast is only 7 deep, and as I said in the beginning, plays sort of like a play but transfers to the screen pretty well.
The whole cast is fairly strong except for what I thought was a pretty bad ending, not in concept so much as execution on both the actors and the scripts part, but the idea was good enough that it didn't bother me much.
Being a dialogue driven film is really fucking hard, it's so easy to lose the viewer in a movie like this because when the dialogue starts to stray and you start to lose interest, it isn't like there's an action scene, a joke or an alien explosion coming to get you back into the flow. This film has a couple of slow moments but the subject matter is so fascinating that I think most people will be willing to tough it out thru those stretches.
All in all we've got a solid little movie for the brain, whose shortcomings are more than made up for by it's originality and ability to interest the viewer.
You'll enjoy spending some time with The Man From Earth.
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