Two points for each time a hot chick gets naked, and three points for the approximate number of times I laughed. Even that feels generous.
If you made a how to video on how not to make a movie, it would probably look something like this. I simply don't have the energy to explain the story or go over every little thing in detail. A fair amount of dialog is drowned out by music playing or the sound of a van running. The acting is more horrific than the kills. The script and directing are atrocious and it just fucking goes on and on and on and on. I never thought I'd be so drained from a movies sheer dullness to be completely unflustered by watching a penis get cut off, but here we are.
Ryan Nicholson is apparently an accomplished effects guy, but for the love of all that is holy, somebody close to him needs to sit him down and in the nicest way possible explain that none of the qualities needed to make an interesting movie are present in his DNA.
Someday I'm going to sit down and rewatch Gutterballs to try and see if maybe I was just super duper stoned when I watched it. There really can't be any other explanation.
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