Think of every dumb action movie you've ever seen, take the absolute dumbest parts of them, hit those parts in the head so hard they suffer brain injuries, then piece them together and you've got The Last Stand.
I'm being slightly unfair, the parts in the town with Arnold and his rag tag gang is at times legit fun, and at other time legit so stupid it's fun. Unfortunately, you have to sit through a setup so ball numbingly awful to get there.
Forest Whittaker, maybe asleep, is playing a federal agent in charge of transporting a drug kingpin to death row. Wouldn't ya know it, things don't work out so smooth. And thus begins an escape, chase, shoot em up, sequence that makes zero sense, is zero fun, and left me with 0 brain cells. And it goes on.....and on......and on.......and the movie just drags things out while we wait and wait for the promised showdown.
Then we get a good 20 minutes or so where there's at least some stupid fun shoot outs before we go back into more ridiculous chase.
The script is so stupid it doesn't just force you to turn your brain off, it forces you to turn your brain off, take it out, put it outside and let the birds peck at it for 2 hours. But worse than that, it's just not much fun. Boring and stupid is no way to go through a film.
Arnold, bless his heart, he tries but he's just not all that good here. Everyone is competent but most of the characters have been lifted from the manual so you aren't gonna get anything you haven't seen a million times before. Luis Guzman and Johnny Knoxville try and bring it, but they're hampered by their limited screen time. The Russian dude from Prison Break is glorious, playing...I don't know what he's playing, the accent waffles so much you could make a drinking game out of it.
The last stand is OK, it's the eternity you spend getting there that's the trouble.
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