I was so excited for a Bigfoot themed movie, then I noticed that the distributor is the same company that released the awful, awful, awful, fucking awful Hayride. Still, I'm down to give it a chance. Then I noticed that the lead was Reb Brown, The guy who's acting in The Howling 2 was an experience akin to getting kicked in the nuts for 2 hours. Fuck me. All I wanted was a good Bigfoot movie! Why must these people put me through this. :sadface: But onward I shall trek.
When I was 11 a neighborhood kid tried to put his penis in me. It was a traumatic experience. Not as traumatic watching this movie.
Not nearly as teeth clenchingly boring as Hayride, but just as god damn awful, Night Claws is movie completely devoid of any competence on any level, to the point that I feel bad for the people buying this shit.
30 Years ago Reb Brown could not act. In the ensuing time he's learned to make a face, something between smelling a fart and seeing a puppy. I'm not sure what it is, but whether he's flirting, being told a monster is in the woods, or finding a dead body, he's making that face. The rest of the cast is just as bad, and it's a large cast. Because if you're gonna hire people who can't act, why not hire lots of em.
The script seems to have an outline, but as far as actual dialog, I can't be sure. Actors seem to just be making shit up half the time, conversations just sort of die out or end with Reb giving that look. The direction is hideous on a monumental level. The actual beast pops up from time to time, but never in any interesting detail till the very end when you realize that was probably a good thing.
Does it work on a camp level? Yeah, I guess. The problem is that it veers from campy to insulting pretty quickly. I mean, if this were parody, it would work. If there was some sort of in joke being played off about how bad it is, it would work. But it's not, it's just people who came up with the idea to get Reb Brown & Frank Stallone so they could put their names on the marquee of their bigfoot movie, and sell it. Then they sort of made a movie so they couldn't be charged with fraud.
Night Claws should come with a free coupon, good for one punch to the windpipe of everyone involved in making and selling this piece of shit.
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