Ok, lets start with about the only good thing in this movie, the premise. A reality survival show set in the wilderness, that is also, unknown to cast and crew, inhabited by inbred mutants. Sounds pretty good right? Well, let's discuss all the things that go horribly wrong.
The first Wrong Turn was an inoffensive middle of the road horror film, also set in the WV backwoods and is most memorable to me for starring the sweet piece of ass Eliza Dushku, who, and fuck Kirsten Dunst, was the star of Bring It On.
The "star" of this film is Henry Rollins, and he's pretty damn good taking what he's given (not a lot) and trying, god bless his heart, to make it work. Rollins plays a retired marine or army dude or whatever, who's the host/leader of the reality show.
The trouble with the concept is that we have 6 contestants, all stock characters and all written to the umpteenth absurdity. The sexpot, the jock, the serious girl, the goofy guy, all not even in the realm of any human being you've ever met.
Next we have exactly 3 crew members. Yeah. At various points in the film "techies" are referred to, as in "techies came out and set up the cameras in the woods" and "techies can come out and take care of that". But all we're ever shown is 3 crew members, and that doesn't last long for horror movie reasons you can all imagine.
Next up is the concept of the reality show. It's supposed to be post apocalyptic survival game, but the rules are so convoluted and dumb that you have to wonder if the script was written in 30 minutes or so. Let's just say that there are challenges, tasks that begin when a trip wire is tripped, radioactive get out of jail cards that can be given away if tasks are performed, I think there are tribal councils but I'm not sure. Anyway, it's about as easy a concept to make a nice action/horror movie around, and yet the makers of the film manage to fuck it up grandly.
Also, and this may sound like nitpicking, but it never really seems like the writers have any idea exactly what they're shooting. The winner is supposed to get $100,000 but at various points there are comments about getting picked up by a network and all this footage looking great on the DVD. The creator also talks about just getting out of film school, which begs the question, where exactly is the $100,000 coming from? And if they have that amount of money, shouldn't there be more than 3 crew members?
Now, one last little diatribe to wrap up my problems with the script. We have a solid premise here. And what appears to be a relatively nice budget. You couldn't hire 30 extras for the day and just have them standing around a craft table and walking around with wires? You couldn't have camera men in the woods and get a few kills out some faceless techies? The setup in the film is that there are 32 cameras positioned in the woods, and exactly one camera man. Really? How the fuck does this happen?
Anyway, on to the rest of the film. The kills are lame and shot really badly, a lot of super quick cuts and a few of those camera shots that are all the rage now where it appears the subject is standing still and everything around them is moving, I don't know what it's called but it's annoying as fuck. Not only do the kills suck but who the fuck cares if these people die cause their all so fucking annoying anyway, I wasn't sad or interested in a single death, it was just there.
After the initial rash of killings we're treated to a chase segment that seemed to last about 2 hours. With 10 minutes to go I just turned it off. Didn't even fast forward thru 10 lousy minutes cause I'm tired of the time this film has wasted in my life. I just don't give a fuck anymore.
Strongest recommendation to avoid and punch in the balls anyone you know who says they enjoyed this movie.
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