Alright, this whole thing is gonna be spoilers, be warned.
So the tag line for this little gem was that it was about a couple going on a sex filled retreat to a secluded lodge only to, of course, be terrorized. "Wooohooo" I thinks to myself. Boobies, fuckin and gore!! WRONG!
So the lovely young couple, including a pretty nice looking female lead, travel up to this lodge that the pretty well off boyfriend has booked all for themselves for the entire weekend, fair enough. Upon their arrival they meet what we are too assume is the owner of the lodge. Now the owner acts as if he was not expecting this couple, which ought send off alarm bells in the young duo, but no.
Fast forward thru the first day where we are greeted with awkward dialog and un suspenseful suspense. To say it drags a bit as we wait for the fireworks would be an understatement. We see the chick in a bikini and short shorts but no nudity, I'm starting to get displeased.
Finally on the 2nd day the couple goes on a hike and finds a car abandoned with blood on the doors. They also find a wallet and realize the man they think is the owner of the lodge is in fact not. Yeah, didn't see that one coming.
They rush back to the house to find their phones are gone, the girls panties have been co-opted and general shenanigans have gone on. They also find a dirty (as in dirt covered) young girl hiding in the closet. Gotta help the girl obviously, so they all attempt to run away only for the girl to turn heel and help what is revealed to be her psycho dad capture the young couple.
Dude ties the boyfriend up and puts him in the attic and then rapes the girlfriend. Do we get to see any of it? No. Is there even any nudity? No. Does the killer even take his pants off to rape her? No. Ok look, I know people may think this is creepy, but ya gotta show some sexual torture and nudity here, it's what the fuckin movies tag line is based on for fuck sakes. Either the chick refused nudity or it just wasn't written in, whatever the reason it needed to be absolved before shooting fuckin began. And if you're the killer, and are waiting to rape this bitch, wouldn't you just kill the boyfriend and spend a day or 2 playing with the sweet piece of ass? No, the dude just gives her a quick 2 minute pump with both their pants still halfway on and that's that. So absurd.
Anyway the Father and Daughter have a teased incestuous relationship, he fucks the victims, she slices and dices them. Of course there is a getaway, a chase and a fight. The couple (the girl actually) manage to off dear old dad in nothing more than a simple fight and head back to the house to get the keys to his car (he's pulled the wires on theirs). In a great scene the pair can see the keys thru the door, but it's locked, so they go all around the house but all the doors are locked. Do they decide to just kick the door in? No, they keep looking.
They finally find a way in and the boyfriend says "don't worry, there's 2 of us and 1 of her, i won't leave your side", then he suddenly starts vomiting from a supposed concussion that appears out of the blue, which of course means the girlfriend has to go get the keys by herself. And of course despite being bigger and stronger than the girl she gets herself into perilous trouble before boyfriend suddenly reappears and saves her. Concussion apparently a thing of the past, HE drives them away.
Oh yeah, I should add that after the girl kills the murderer she laments and cries over how she's just killed another human being, despite the fact that he was about to kill them both and had already raped her. Then later when the boyfriend knocks the shit out of the young girl she says "we need to get her to a hospital!" lol, what?
As they sit in the car she asks the boyfriend why they he brought her here, at which point he looks at an engagement ring in his hand and shoves it back in his pocket, awwwwwww, murderers ruined his proposal
As the car pulls away we're treated to an exterior shot of the car and the little girl pops up in the backseat as scary music plays and we're all left to wonder fearfully what the fate of our young couple will be. Like anyone could fucking care. So apparently they just picked up the girl and put her in the backseat instead of just leaving her at the lodge or tying her the fuck up.
Starts off with a horror genre setup, rolls into Henry Portrait Of A Serial Killer, and then becomes a slasher/chase film, succeeding at none of them.
Best recommendation to avoid, The Lodge is no place to spend 90 minutes of your life.
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