2008 Horror Fest: Witches Night: 35 Out Of 100 Stars

Shame, this movie was easily heading into "over 50" territory and then boom, it failed at all the important aspects.

Tagline is that a group of guys get seduced by a group of witches and chaos ensues, yadda yadda. I think to myself, "witches are hot, murdering sex witches are even hotter", so off I went.

Let's start with the good since, we'll, it starts off good. 4 guys are out in the middle of nowhere. All the characters are well written, all the actors are solid. The writing is good. Yes it's a standard horror situation but you can tell there was some time put into the back story of why these guys are here, what their motivations are etc, I was digging it.

Guys decide to go camping and upon doing so meet up with 4 pretty hot chicks. Still going good.

Now then. We see very little sex, just a few titty shots, and what is set up very nicely is delivered upon poorly and pisses me off. I'm about fucking tired of movies using sex and nudity as a tag line and then not only wimping out, but as I'll get to later, fucking insulting my intelligence.

So 1 of 2 main sex scenes in the movie passes with what, outside of some titty, is essentially a pg13 scene. Fine, let's move on.

Here the story veers into the chase and be chased, none of it very exciting. Each guy comes down with an affliction that the movie can never quite decide if it's to be played for realsies or for laughs. The chase includes canoes, thus is slow as fuck and rather boring. Also of note is that the male characters buy into the premise of witches way too easy. "Oh we're all sick, oh there were stories of witches, we must run because those girls must be witches". For as much time spent on the nicely done setup they just switch into cliche mode so fast it'll make your head spin and it really disappointed me.

Sex scene number 2 comes along and what is supposed to be a lesbian orgy is not shown at all, then a m/f sex ritual occurs while the woman clearly has bottoms on and alas, also has a top on. COME THE FUCK ON.

The chase is bad, the kills are OK save for the very end which is just retarded.

Funny, before anything had really happened I was thinking how good a horror movie this was, and then they went and botched the suspense, horror and sexuality. My rating steadily decreased over the last 35 minutes when a few gory kills and a hot sex scene or ass shot would of sated me just fine.

Almost Witches Night, almost