I didn't realize until after I was done watching this shit fest that it was an Asylum film. So yeah, that explains a lot.
Actually, Asylum films tend to have a nice cheese factor that at least adds some humor to the chore of watching them. Not this fucker.
Much like my last movie, the premise of this fucker is that a Ghost Hunters like TV show is filming inside the Gacy, house looking for paranormal activity. The opening credits tell us that this footage was left behind and pieced together to create a narrative, much the same way they did it in Paranormal Activity. I'm fucking overjoyed at this revelation cause I loved that movie soooooooooooooo fucking much.
Anyway, we hit our first hiccup right away when the opening credits tell us that the original Gacy house was torn down and another house was built on the property many years later. Despite giving us this tidbit the actors all refer to it as the Gacy house and act as if this is the acutall building where all the rapes and murders took place.
None of the actors are any good I don't think. I couldn't tell if they were improvising or the script was written as improvisation. In any event we get a lot of repeat dialog and "dude" and "fuck". Ya know, stuff that really engrosses you in the film. For instance, do you know what a K2 machine is? I didn't, but now I do, cause the lead actor asks about it approximately 30 fucking times during the movie.
So what do we get for our dollar should we decide to legally acquire this film for viewing? Well, we get a lot of walking. A lot of horrible dialog. A lot of watching people set up equipment. A lot of people who can't even feign fear or exasperation on any deeper level than "fuck, oh fuck, fuck, fuck, holy shit, fuck, oh man, fuck". No single character in this movie is as ball bitingly annoying as the douche in Paranormal Activity but there are like 7 main characters so the combined annoyance factor is ramped up.
There are some wonderful nuggets of entertainment such as a psychic offering the T-shirt of her friends young son as a peace offering to get the ghost of Gacy to reveal himself. And late in the film a young camera man is pulled through the air and pantsed. Yes, you read that right. A performance of Peter Pan breaks out in the middle of all the horror. Then we have boobs. About the only thing the film has going for it are the 3 fairly attractive females in the cast. One of which injures her boob, leading to a mind numbing scene which in her shirt must be removed and a close up of her heaving jugs is focused on. Later on, Gacys ghost completely deblouses another one of the women, so yeah, I guess there's that.
There's a "diary room", for the actors to talk to a singular camera, because you know, when you have a house full of cameras and everyone is carrying a camera, the one thing you need is a special place to go and be filmed.
I might be able to forgive all this dreadful monotony if anything scary actually occurred, but it doesn't. By the time the supposed creepiness starts, at about 50 minutes in, I would have preferred to be raped by Gacy himself than have to sit through the films final act. Most of the horror consists of people exclaiming that something has touched them, or shadows, or star trek level camera shifting and people falling down or from side to side. It's just a god damn annoyance to watch.
Too painfully wretched to be anything but tedious, 8213 Gacy House is no place I ever wanna go to again, not out of fright, but out of sheer boredom.
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