The disaster stars porn star Alexis Texas, a generic, big titted blonde. So hey, a porn star in a zombie movie? Gotta be worth a shot right? Ha on me.
So this is one of those insanely low budget films shot in a house or an office or something, but it's supposed to be a high tech research lab. The conference room can fit 4 whole people and the big boss telecommutes on a TV built in 1990.
The scientists down in the science area of the facility are busy working on some sort of awesome new drug that accidentally gets spilled, but thank heaven none of the virus got out...Oh wait...It spilled all over the cats. The cats? Yeah, don't most giant research labs have cats down in the labs? Now the cats were in tanks, like fish tanks, so it's not like they could go walking around all willy nilly unless they jumped out. OH NO, THEY JUMPED OUT!!
Now, the characters. There's an old redneck cowboy wanna be, who's the big guy in charge and he's fucking his secretary, Alexis Texas. They play a little game where she rides him like a horsie and they both yell giddy up a lot. Somehow his intercom gets turned on so the whole "building" can hear them. We get treated to about 7 employees throughout the building looking up as they listen in and smiling. Hahahaha. This montage will be repeated about half a dozen times during the first half hour of the movie alone as the building goes on lock down and they are given various updates. There's nothing better than watching people act like they're listening to stuff. Lots of people acting like they're listening to stuff. Over and over.
Next we have a middle aged woman who's like the #2 in charge or something, I dunno. But she talks to her dead husbands picture and assures him that this new virus they've created will help save Americas soldiers or some shit, I dunno. She's dressed like she's ready for Sunday brunch on Park Avenue. Anyway, when redneck goes missing for a while, she sort of takes over by commanding both the other employees to sit still while she fancies around with a gun.
Watching people walk around in this movie is a treat unto itself as it's clearly a fucking house they're in. All the doors have pieces of white paper next to them with office numbers and shit, it's so low rent, which would be awesome if the movie had any fun with that aspect, but it doesn't.
Now the lady and Alexis Texas meet in some sort of basement area and #2 chides Alexis for trying to sleep her way to happiness. This movie is too much fucking talking.
Oh great. Now a random chick character shows up in a walking boot and knocking on the security guards door cause zombies are chasing her. He hasn't read the manual so he's not sure what to do. What the fuck is this shit.
OMG the dialog here is so overwrought. They think they're in a real fucking movie. But you can't give thought provoking and deep, insightful speeches from bedrooms dressed as security offices and garages dressed as science labs. This is beautifully awful.
For the love of fuck. Whoever wrote this piece of shit is in love with his story because all they do is stand around and explain shit, and by explain, I mean say some of the stupidest shit I've ever heard.
Well alright then, let's sum this up. The set is laughable and made even more laughable by the overwrought story and the in depth conversations the character have to explain it to us. The kills are generic and below average. There is a laugh or two. I'm really torn. I'm gonna grade it a 50 and say if you like cheese then watch it, if you want any sort of half decent zombie flick, skip it.
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