Ok, so we've got Nicolas Cage, William Fichtner, Charlotte Ross buck ass naked, guns and cars. How the fuck is this not the greatest movie ever? Well, because the story and the direction are a lovely combination of Retarded, with a side order of extra stupid.
Spoilers coming up, so stop fucking reading if you don't want to be spoiled.
The first 15 minutes of the movie works well when you're unclear of peoples motivations, then we get some tits and ass and you're all like, "Ok, this is going along pretty nice" and then it turns into a chase and shoot where you don't give a fuck about any of the people or their motivations. You get soliloquies in the middle of what is being presented as an obvious farce. The movie is all over the place. It wants to be hip, it wants to be action, it wants to be grindhouse. I think it might have wanted to be partly satire. Oh yeah, it was also shot for 3D which means we get a lot of those stupid ass 3D shots that aren't any more exciting or cutting edge then they were back in the early 80's.
I wanted to love this movie, I really did. But between the montages over generic southern rock, slo mo bullet firings and lots of cars doing car stuff, I just lost my friggin mind.
25 stars, almost all for Charlotte Ross naked and William Fichtner being the coolest motherfucker on earth, but it's just not enough.
Drive Angry, just don't drive to the theater to see this piece of shit.
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