Monday, August 5, 2013

2011 Horror Fest: Night Of The Demons 3: 31 Out Of 100 Stars

Ok, so now we have the 3rd installment, which came out in the the early/mid 90's. This sucker is a fucking hodgepodge of overwrought badness.

Right away we have what amount to a group of characters in a van that have no relation to each other or reason for being together. Within 5 minutes, two of them almost get into a knife fight and they're all insulting each other. We have the psycho and his psycho girlfriend, the geek, the rugged tough guy with a good heart and the black dude who's here to tell dumb jokes.

Our van of misfit miscreants stop to pick up two girls who we met earlier while they were preparing for the "big dance", naked as jaybirds but not real titillating. Anyway, the girls are broke down on the side of the road and decide to accept a ride in the Misery Machine.

Ok, I'm not gonna rehash the whole movie, but let's just say that to say this film is a jumbled mess would be an understatement. The kids stop at a convenience store, and an attempt to use a fake ID turns into something out of Dirty Harry in a contrived and ridiculous scene that leaves the kids on the run and deciding to hide at Hull House.

The problem is that you never feel any connection to the characters, their motives, or their plight. They sort of do all the stuff you're supposed to do in a movie like this but for no good reason. A couple dry humps for about 20 minutes because kids in these movies have sex. Whatever. One character gets shot with a shotgun to the gut and instead of dyeing he spends half an hour screaming while getting drug all over the place with the rest of the gang.

There's a detective who is set to retire at midnight who follows the kids into Hull House, as if the film wasn't cliche ridden enough. The final 30 minutes is just an absolute mess where we get the demon bargaining for the virgin. Bargaining. She's willing to make trades. Just a garbage plot written by someone who thought he was making something other than a fucking slasher movie.

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