My Little Eye: 34 Out 100 Stars

Where do I start with this clunker? The premise is pretty solid, 5 strangers put into a house in the middle of nowhere as part of what they think is an internet reality show. The goal is for them all to stay within the house and a small outside perimeter for 6 months. If nobody leaves they all get a million dollars, if just one leaves, they all lose. Sounds solid enough right? The problem is that that's about as dramatic as it ever gets, I mean reading the premise is as dramatic as it ever gets.

From the start the film betrays itself with it's characters, 3 men and 2 women, whom all, save for 1 guy, are about as nondescript as it gets. Secondly, the film immediately takes you out of whatever hype you had going in by presenting it's plot in a very absurd way. None of the contestants knows the name of the site, has any idea about anything going on outside of they were contacted to be on this show and then put in this house. The very first thing we learn about the characters is that they're all dumb as shit, but that's ok, because being dumb as shit is the most personality any of them are given.

The next problem is that the film is really hard to watch. It's colors are dark and drab and a lot of the footage is night vision or low quality cam footage. If the film were in any way suspenseful I imagine this style would help, but it isn't in the slightest. Instead it's 5 people impossible to care about, in hard to follow shots that irritate from the word go. The first half of the movie just gets more and more irritating as it progresses.

The second half of the movie has some potential spots of excitement but they fade rather quickly. There's a lot of loud music and annoying effects that had me wanting to punch my tv in annoyance. It's trying to be stylized but it's just aggravating to no end. The story itself as it plays out is nothing impressive, despite all the technical bells and whistles they try to throw on top of it.

Let's see, there's some nudity but the chicks are fairly plain. The acting ranges from fine enough to bad. It's a cast full of people who could have been pulled from the line at an open audition for a Soap Opera, all have some degree of attractiveness, but it's daytime tv attractiveness. You know what I mean?

So yeah, a film whose premise and occasional jump scare are enough to keep you from turning it off, but once you credits roll you'll just be mad at yourself. Like when you're lactose intolerent but have a hankering for ice cream, but the only ice cream in the house is a kind you don't like, but you eat it anyway and then you've got diahrea and you didn't even enjoy it.