Oh Glorious Day!! This film contains what may very well be the single best 30 minute stretch in cinema history. And around that we're treated to world class tits and ass, sprinkled with a loving goblet of first rate satire.
The setup is simple enough. It's Spring Break on Lake Victoria which means tits, tits and more tits. Oh yeah, and an underwater seismic event has created a tunnel that allows a breed of prehistoric piranha, long thought extinct and trapped in a subterranean lake to invade the densely populated lake.
Now then, for the first 30 minutes or so I was into it, but I wasn't clear on exactly what I was watching. The setup and introduction of characters is fairly pedestrian. There is Elisabeth Shue as a sheriff and Ving Rhames as her deputy. They're the first to realize something is fishy, pardon the pun. Then there's a group of government scientist who come in to investigate the seismic activity, and at that point the movie starts to let you in on what it's truly about.
Now at the same time, Shues son is given the chance to work as a location scout for a Girls Gone Wild type dude played by Jerry O'Connell. So O'Connell and the son, along with two stacked models who spend more than half their screen time buck ass and big tit naked, head out on the boat. Also along for the trip is a girl who the son has a major crush on but whom O'Connell also has his eyes set on.
O'Connell plays a douche so well and pretty much from scene one you want him to meet an ill fate.
So, the film sets itself up perfectly. And then the fish are unleashed. In the first half hour or so there are gory moments that make you laugh or cringe depending on your proclivity. But none of these moments can prepare you for the barrage that is about to come. The movie unloads such copious amounts of gore and absurd kill moments that it makes the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan look like a childrens movie. And then it gets worse. AND THEN IT KEEPS FUCKING GLORIOUSLY GOING.
When the smoke clears we're treated to fabulous chase and rescue that takes such joy in doing everything exactly as you'd expect it to happen. Boats don't work when they're supposed to, boats take half an hour to fill with water when the heroin is in jeopardy and it's all done with a knowing wink to the audience.
I cannot emphasize enough how much fucking fun this movie is. Far and away the most fun I've had watching a film in a long time. I was disappointed to see the movie didn't exactly set the box office on fire but apparently they plan on a sequel anyway and I've got a boner just thinking about.
I don't think there's ever been a mainstream movie with this much gore, gore, gore, tits, tits, tits and oh yeah, it's a fucking comedy.
Go see Piranha, it's got BITE!!
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