Now this is what I'm talking about. Sub Indie schlock of the highest order. Written, directed, produced, music, catering, outhouse accommodations, all by the same guy, so you know it has to be grand.
A few of the actors are french Canadian so I'm assuming this is a Canadian production.
We open in a car with a group of idiots and I'm immediately impressed by a girl in an old school Expos T-Shirt. Not the girl, the T-Shirt. Right off the bat it's clear that none of these people can really act and it's also clear that the dialog is, and is going to be, horrendously awesome. Johnny Rebel (yes) is driving and I'm not sure right now whether he's just an awful actor performing atrocious dialog or whether it's intentional schlock. In any event it's gut bustingly, beautifully bad.
Of course they're going to an old campground to meet some friends and camp, nevermind that none of them have any idea where this place is.
There's the staple stop at the gas station which has no gas, but does have a guy who appears to not have showered for a few years and offers to fuck both the women and the men.
The cuts are gloriously bad as it looks like everyone was delivering their dialog on different days.
So the group, Johnny and his Expos tee wearing girlfriend, the one decent actor, a completely goofy and bad acting meathead who's wearing an 80's style half jersey (yes, in 2008), and 2 other girls.
Once at the abandoned camp ground they are startled by a woman who informs them that the place has been closed for 15 years. Why she's there they never question, but the camera lingers on her long enough to hit us over the head with the fact that she's probably an important piece to this film.
Sooooo much horridity in this film. Close up shots of tongues mingling, a dude going a bizarre stand up routine on an old stage in the middle of the woods about the differences between white people and french people.
Astoundingly bad, 5th grade dialog that consists of bad insults and worse jokes.
Holy shit man, the more I watch the more incomprehensibly bad it gets. Football jersey wearing guy, explains that he used to play football, well that explains it. He even carries a football with him as he walks on the beach with a girl. Then as they go to kiss he exclaims that he can't, because his heart belongs to another. THIS IS THE WORST ACTING EVER!! Without looking at the credits and knowing only that the writer was listed like 8th in the opening cast credits I am going to go out on a limb and guess that this is him, because NOBODY could cast someone this bad in their film unless it was themselves.
Oh lord, each scene gets worse and worse as the girls straddle a log in the middle of the lake and talk about sex. Then they fall in and have a splash fight.
Johnny Rebel cannot throw or spit like a man. lol.
OMG SUCH AN AMAZING SWERVE THAT I DID NOT SEE IT COMING AND I CANNOT SPOIL!!
Dear lord I wish words could convey how awesome this is.
They have a smoke machine. I know this because small bursts of fog appear in every tension scene.
GAHHHHHHH OMG THE SPECIAL EFFECTS FOR THE 2ND KILL ARE...............................AMAZING@@@@!!
The 2nd half of the film introduces us to 6 new characters including 3 pretty hot chicks, a nerd and a white dude with a giant afro.
Oh man, the white afro guy thinks he's black! Great scene where a dude is taking a piss and we can clearly see the water bottle he's holding. Fuckin righteous.
OH JESUS, OK NOW THIS HAS TO BE PARODY, IT HAS TO BE!!! The nerd spied a girl showering and when caught he pranced away. PRANCED!!
The awful jokes, oh the awful jokes!! And the boom mic in frame!
And so on it goes, really bad tension with music produced on a Casio circa 1989, joyously bad "special effects".
What a wonderful film that I highly recommend for anyone who wants to laugh, and we all wanna laugh.
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