All 29 points come from the third act, which while just as retarded as the first 2, has at least a semi competent comedic edge.
It takes a lot to make a film this fucking god awful. Every character is both retarded and annoying. Every plot point is regenerated, used for about 10 minutes, and then dispensed of. The film has no flow, it just meanders from mall cop movie cliche to mall cop movie cliche.
Seth Rogen plays one of those characters so retarded that you wonder exactly how he got to the point he's at when the movie starts. For instance, when the film opens he's the head of mall security, yet everything he does suggests that he's no good at it at all. He's loud, delusional, boorish and treats everyone like shit, but the script insists he's the hero, so there ya go.
Oh, but he's nice to one character, a counter girl in the cosmetic store played by Anna Faris. Now Faris can play the lovable goofy girl to the hilt, but what is she in this movie? A total bitch. I wanna say that her and Rogen are both horribly miscast but the truth is that as written, neither character is worth a shit, no matter who was playing them.
Movie opens up in positive fashion with a pretty funny scene involving a flasher in the parking lot, but once we meet the characters it all goes down hill for a good hour. Rogen pursues Faris and wants to protect her from the flasher, even though she clearly despises him and he's too retarded to understand that. Coffee shop girl, hot as heck, clearly digs Rogen for no apparent reason as he's a total douche to her as well as everyone else. Film segues into Rogen trying to become a real cop, totally forgets about the flasher and Faris for a good stretch and then goes into some bizarre scenes where Rogen turns into terminator and completely hates cops.
Maybe the best scenes of the film come when Rogen turns to drugs and starts beating up skateboarders.
So yeah. Imagine Paul Blart using the word fuck every 10 seconds and shooting people and that's what ya got here. An unfunny, overly vulgar script full of not one original idea, that makes very little sense.
I Reported, so you didn't have to Observe.
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