Creep Creepersin. A name that will haunt me always.
When O saw a title like this available for download I jumped all over it, preparing myself for the cheesiest of cheese.
What I got however was not cheese, nor schlock, and certainly not a film. I don't even know how to accurately describe what I watched, but I do believe some sort of charges need to be pressed against the filmmakers and distributers for calling this a "movie" and attempting to sell it to people.
For starters, the total run time is 1:12:00 minutes. That's ok in itself, until you start watching and the opening credits last about 13 minutes, then the "film" ends at the 54 minute mark. Although I guess I should be thankful for that.
There's an opening scene to set the story up, but it's shot, as is the whole movie, on what appears to be a camera at least a decade old. Now this opening scene tries to establish something but I'm not sure what, because I couldn't hear what the "actors" were saying.
Next we have nearly 10 minutes of credits, some of which are shown over audio of a radio broadcast warning of the impending zombie doom that I'm almost certain the "director" lifted from another movie.
When the movie actually starts we're treated to 3 setup scenes introducing the characters, none of whom could possibly have any formal acting training. I mean, it's so atrocious that my thoughts turned to wanting to hang out with these people to see exactly what sort of sensibilities they have about life. How do they function? How do they see things? Can people this clearly unaware exist properly in society? Every person in the film up till this point has to know that they have no ability to write, act, film, or do anything involved with film making, and yet here they are on DVD, doing all those things.
It gets even worse when the main body of the story begins as all the characters end up in a bar together and........stuff happens. I honestly watched this whole thing, honest injun, and I really still don't know what happened. I mean, I couldn't hear what I suppose was the big climax because of the horrible audio.
But back to the basics for a moment. The dialog is putrid, but it doesn't matter because nobody can act. The blocking is horrible, as the bar clearly has 1, 6 foot hallway, yet thru ought the movie, people disappear as they go in search of people who are missing. At one point they even break into teams to go......well I don't know, because there's only 1 fucking hallway.
Now, onto the real ass fuck of the film. A clip from Night Of The Living Dead is shown. "OK" I think to myself, lots of movies show clips of people watching stuff on tv. But no, the director just intersperses clips of Night Of The Living Dead where the action in his movie is supposed to be occurring. At this point I was sure the filmmaker had to be 15 years old and had simply gotten his dads old video camera out of the garage, but it turns out the creator of this shit is an adult, which makes it all the sadder.
So as we continue, we get almost no gore because I'm assuming the budget on this thing is about $10 bucks. There appears to be some self effacing zombie movie references that are supposed to be funny but are not. And then there's the ending, which again I have no idea what happens, because I couldn't hear any of the dialog.
Just a horrid piece of........something, I wouldn't call it movie making. As the one review currently up on IMDB put it so perfectly "this is just stuff on film".
Whoever this Creep Creepersin guy is, I have to give him credit. Not on his ability to make a movie, all you need apparently is any sort of camera to do that. But to involve so many people in his work. That more than 5 people exist who are willing to take part in his world is a true accomplishment in itself.
No comments:
Post a Comment